How to deal with a breakup 101:

Sometimes in life we go through breakups and they really suck. All of a sudden you are with someone everyday for months and then he’s gone and you think “how am I going to get through this?” We have it in our minds that we NEED someone to tell us that we are beautiful or we NEED someone to make us feel safe, when all along we can do that for ourselves. So, here are my coping mechanisms that I used after a difficult breakup:

1. Watch a ton of Desperate Housewives and eat plenty of rocky road ice cream. (It’ll help I promise)

2. DO NOT call him, text him, e-mail him, snap chat him and for the love of God do NOT stalk his Facebook page, that just hurts worse.

3. Find a hobby. I fell in love with reading again. Get lost in someone else’s love life instead of focusing on your real life heartbreak. It helps for a while.

4. Don’t try to jump into another relationship. You will compare every guy you meet to your ex and that isn’t fair.

5. Fall in love with yourself again. Take yourself shopping and TREAT YO SELF. (Sorry I have been watching a lot of parks and rec lately) But really, go get a massage, take yourself on a date.

6. Last but not least, cry. I know everything I have said up to this point wasn’t leading towards crying, but it’s going to be okay. Cry one last time and get it out of your system. Cry for 2 minutes or cry for 2 hours. Nobody said you’d get over him so quick.

If you are either the heart breaker or the broken hearted, breakups are still tough. You will want to run back to what was comfortable and continue life with that person, but you can’t. In my case I was the heart breaker. I was also heart broken. I knew in my gut though I had to let go, not because of him, but for me. I had to figure myself out and love myself first. I never thought I could get over him, but I did. He wasn’t the fit for me and when I thought about going back to him my mom would say, “If you drank spoiled milk once would you go back for a second glass?” Obviously we wouldn’t go back for a second glass of spoiled milk, so don’t go running back to your ex. You parted ways for a reason. I can say that I miss him sometimes but he is doing great things without me and I want his happiness more than anything, even if that means I’m not in the picture anymore. So, move on and love yourself more. It’s worth it, I promise.

xoxo,

girl in the real world